The Dawn

As I sit here, smoothie in hand, gazing at my computer screen I think two things: 1.) Dole's frozen strawberries are worth a couple of extra cents when compared with Private Selection's and 2.) I am no longer content to be a man-child. The first realization hit the second the Meijer-brand vanilla yogurt overwhelmed the off-brand taste of what should be succulent berries as this chalky concoction melted over my tongue. The second began several months ago after years of self-reflection. This being the beginning of a new year I have made several semi-vague, but necessary, steps to change the second. The first will be dealt with by avoiding Kroger's frozen food section.

There are four paths that I want to follow during the year 2010:

Grow in Wisdom:
I have been content for too long with passively absorbing the world around me, content to know only what I needed to adequately perform my duties and live my life. I want to know more, not for knowledge's sake alone, but to become a more rounded person. Several ways of accomplishing this immediately come to mind. First, I have spent way too much time obsessing over television shows and listening to music. I am not saying that either of these is horrible unto itself, but neither stimulates the mind to think in new and creative ways. Neither provides any lasting ideas to help me grow as a human being. I value the artistic endeavors that their creators have embarked on, but simply viewing their work does nothing to help me to follow my own visions, find my own strengths, etc. Reading, on the other hand, strengthens the mind, allows me to develop more powers of comprehension and, if reading the right books, can actually introduce important concepts for me to practice. Let me state now that I rarely watch PBS. I realize it may help with some of those things too. But it is also boring. Really, really boring. I resolve this year to read many, many more books than I have before and Justin's reading contest provides me the perfect motivation to do so. Because, really, do I want to admit that Justin or Burris beat me at anything? I also plan on finishing my Master's degree by June and studying for my CPA beginning in September. I want to complete it by the time I hit thirty.

Grow in Stature:
Being a jittery, malnourished, pale-faced ten-year old with severe shyness was cute. Adorable even. At twenty-eight it is a burden. Although, I have to admit, it was fun pretending to be an intern at a company I worked at for three years and managing to fool the secretary into believing it everyday. I don't want to become some muscle-bound gym rat, but I do feel that there are some changes in diet and exercise routines that can make me more healthy and actually cause me to look like, gasp, an adult. So, this year I resolve to eat properly. That means less processed foods, more fruits, more vegetables. I also resolve to exercise at least three times a week (preferably five, but with school for the next six months that might be difficult). I want to be able to run several miles by the end of the year without passing out, and I want to gain at least ten pounds of muscle and knock off around two-percent of my BMI by the end of the year .

Grow in Favor with God:
This is the key to any changes in my life. It is also going to be the trickiest to measure. God causes the growth. It is not something that I can pray or read my way to without His hand in my life. Doing either without His help or focusing on growing for Him and not myself will cause piety, and we all know where that got the Pharisees. However, I cannot expect God to bless me if I am lazy and expect Him to fill me with complete knowledge of His word. There will be days when I may not get anything out of the Bible, there will be days when my prayer life is dry. But in those days, and every other, I want to read a chapter of the Bible, and meditate on it and pray for at least a half-hour. That isn't enough. I must also come to it with a heart of obedience and willing to follow whereever He leads.

Grow in Favor with Man:
Oh boy. This is going to be a hard one for an anxiety-prone, acid-tongued recluse. I have, however, been called to live in fellowship with other believers. Does this means that I will have to come out of my shell and attend social events that I would have avoided otherwise? You better believe it does. I have absolutely no idea of how I will get over my social anxiety long enough to attend said events. But I believe that the first way to overcome my fear of people will be to get outside of myself and begin serving. How does this look? I honestly have no idea. Second, my sarcasm has been one of the qualities I have been known for for years and will probably be the hardest thing I have to let go (Noooooooooo!) This year I will watch my tone and, yes, cut down on the sarcasm and work on (!) encouraging others. Does that mean that all of my quirky sayings will go by the wayside? Not if I ever want to speak again. But I will watch what comes out of my mouth. Even if it would have been the cleverest thing to fall upon the ears of man.

So, again, not an exhaustive list. It is, however, an important one. Every second I sit idly by is a second that I choose to stay a child. That is a choice I no longer want to make.

I Corinthians 13:11 - When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.